All We Never Wanted: Weird Depeche Mode Memorabilia

Depeche Mode might be considered a ‘classic’ group by US standards, but in Europe they’ve never left the public consciousness. It’s a fandom akin to Beatlemania, only with less mop-tops and more moping. You’ll occasionally see party posters listing the genres they play, and oftentimes “Depeche Mode” will be listed as a genre all its own. In fact, massive parties exist here where nothing but Depeche Mode is played all night—including live tracks, which the crowd will whoo! about appreciatively. Like many, ahem, devoted music fandoms, it has inspired a huge array of products that occasionally cross into the realm of the ridiculous.

The Lullaby Sessions

Nothing soothes a child like parental nostalgia! Junior’s grunts and milky baby breath freaking you out? Let these renditions of classic Clarke and co. songs calm him into synthpop slumber. Don’t forget, you can order the Mamma’s Little Misery package collection too, which also includes lullabies from The Cure, Nine Inch Nails, and The Smiths!

Regrettable Eveningwear

Hardcore band-fans can be forgiven for wearing logo shirts, beanies, or possibly even some sort of cape, but panties and earrings? Really? By the time you’re in a close enough situation with someone for them to recognize what either of those actually are, they’re probably more concerned with getting them off you rather than admiring your musical taste.

Toys No Kid Wants

Imagine being the kid who only had these to take to school in the ’80s. Everyone’s pulling out nunchucks and dinosaurs that spit slime and he has to demonstrate how the metal ball goes in to Martin Gore’s eye. All his friends keep asking him why his parents won’t buy him anything else and he just cries because he doesn’t know.

Depeche Money

While Celebrity Dollar Bills offers a wide variety of goofily-photoshopped pictures of…well, whatever you want on a real dollar bill, it’s this shot of a young, slightly perplexed-looking Dave Gahan that truly captures the gestalt of music fame.

Published February 20, 2015.